Elina and I have been going to a Mom's Group in town. It is sort of a standing play date. Well there I was yesterday, taking in the scene. There were about a few other kids there, some older and one just a bit younger than Elina. At one point they were all cluttered in a group, and I realized in that moment that all of them were standing, all were walking, except mine.
In that moment I realized for the first time that I had a choice. I could either feel anger, worry, or feel that life is somehow unfair, or I could choose to have peace with where Elina was, and feel joy for the children who were obviously blossoming.
I am proud to say that I choose the latter.
This is a first step in a long process, and there will be backwards steps. I know this because just this morning I was having a stress episode after I filled out a 16 month development evaluation sheet (oh, don't get me started on those things).
Progress for me is a bit like rolling uphill. Its going to be rough, and there may be a little gravity pulling me down, but I will overcome. It's all about taking it one breath at a time. Its about having joy for the now and peace for the later.
She's getting sooooo big!!!!!
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