Milestones: 13 months old

It has been almost two months since her big day, and we have reason to celebrate.

Elina has been making some major leaps this past month. It seems like everyday she is doing something new. 

I am finally sitting down to highlight some of her progress. 

Crawling

Elina's crawling is not quite "typical" yet. She uses one foot to push forward and the other to scoot her butt. However, she is doing it with her belly off the ground, which takes a lot of strength and coordination.

 

She has always hated to practice this position. In fact, we thought she might skip crawling altogether! Just today she chased her ball all the way across our house. Praise God.

Standing with Support

Elina loves practicing to stand. She will do it for an hour if you are patient enough. Recently she has become more confident in using the couch and tables to practice standing and even a bit of cruising.

We are trying now to transition her to using just one hand to hold on. The biggest challenge is her mind. She sees that we let go and panics. To try to ease into it, we give her a small toy in her hand, so it doesn't feel empty.

Self Feeding

We have been working with Elina on self feeding. Self feeding with a spoon is a major work in progress right now, mostly because we end up feeding her to avoid a mess and a headache (she is in her "throwing everything" stage). 

Finger foods have been much more successful. She is a pro.

Pulling to StandThis has been a tricky one. Elina is shorter than most babies her age. This makes it really hard to reach onto coffee table tops and sofa edges. However, we have found out that using lower surfaces allows her pull to stand by herself.

Walking with SupportIt seems like we waited forever to see that walking instinct kick in. Now she takes off whenever we set her on the ground. 

She is doing too many things to document them all. Every little thing is something to celebrate. Babbling, blowing bubbles in the water, reaching with both the left and right hand. Just a few days ago I was thinking about how excited I was that she could crawl over and get into my stuff (that novelty will probably wear out shortly).

We know that hitting milestones at a certain time is irrelevant. She may not even do somethings that I take for granted. We are okay with that. Accepting her does not mean that we can't help her to grow and learn. We put hours into mastering the smallest movements. 

There is no words to describe the feeling when she gets something; something we have practiced for hours, thinking she might never pick up. It is like witnessing miracles everyday. 

What was in the mail (plus bonus material!)

Last night we received a very special delivery! Elina got her T-Shirt that we ordered from the Down Syndrome Association of Texas.

When we saw these shirts I knew we had to have one! She is proud to represent.

Elina and her abundance of chromosomes are perfect in every way.
If you want to purchase one of these shirts for you or someone you know with designer genes, you can visit the link at the top. All profits go back into the charity.

Elina and I took some great pictures today, so I thought I would share them instead of waiting until the next post, Its our bonus material, enjoy.

Nakey Pictures

One of my friends noted that I hadn't taken any pictures of elina in her birthday suit. I fixed that problem, because, I need to have some to whip out to show on her first dates.

 

This is the face she made after peeing, shown by the puddle to the right

A Baby Doll

 

In our next post we will be updating everyone on Elina's milestones. She is doing new things everyday, but it is majorly tricky to capture them on camera.

See you next time.

Making Castles

First pregnancies are a wash of dreams. Every parent spends time fantasizing about the little one on the way. When the ultra sound tells you its a girl, your dreams turn to pigtails, ballet classes, and even future weddings.

When I was pregnant with Elina I put all of my efforts into her room. We painted her walls, and I painted her special verse above where her crib would be. When we found out Elina had Down Syndrome, putting my heart into Elina's space also helped me to heal, and to realize that she was, after all, just a precious baby girl. A princess; every princess needs a castle.

Having pretty things is not essential. What is essential is that Elina feels us telling her, in every little way, that she is treasured. We surround her with messages of hope and love, creating a place to dream, play, and rest.

A Sanctuary

 I make castles for a princess. Not a bad gig, eh?

(re)Defining Me

I am having a chat with a fellow mother. We talk about the weather as our babies play around our feet. The other child pulls itself up and begins to toddle around the room. I realize that this baby is the same age as Elina. My daughter remains sitting by my feet, observing. This is how Down Syndrome separates my baby from hers. It is the first of many possible ways Elina may be different. I feel warmth running to my cheeks and inadequacy chokes me.

Why? Its the same reason parents sometimes feel they need to brag about a genius child or a budding Olympian. We believe our children reflect back to us.

If our child is smart, we think we have done something right (Which, of course, is possible). Or maybe we think that we are just the superior type of person that breeds amazing children.

Then there is the other side of the spectrum. I worry that people will think we are inferior because our child is not hitting milestones. It reflects badly, and makes me feel like there is something wrong with me. So I end up compensating by pushing Elina to succeed or by telling myself that she is going to be better at something than someone else's child. Am I really worried about Elina? Or am I trying to fill some hole in the mirror of my self image?

Down Syndrome has challenged me far beyond the tangible difficulties like heart problems and early intervention. It has made me discover the shallow parts of myself. I learned that I find identity in the wrong ways. I think how smart I am, how I look, who I know, what I accomplish, who accomplishes more than me, all define what I am worth.

So what about her?

 If she isn't top of her class, does that mean she isn't important? Does it mean that I am not important?

What will I feel if people look at her in a weird way? Will I worry what they think of her? of me?

Elina shouldn't have to be something so that I can feel good about myself. It is wrong to try to live my life through my child. It is wrong for me to puff up my ego when she does something better than someone else.

Not only is it wrong, its a waste of life.

Freedom is knowing you are worth something. Freedom is leaving behind your ideas of who you need to be. When we accept ourselves we will be free to actually live our lives instead of hiding until we reach perfection. Perfection isn't coming, but life is already here.

I want Elina to have this freedom. I want to own it for myself. I want to throw away my notions about special needs. I want to embrace who my daughter is, and forget what people say she should be.

Because she already is who she should be; herself.

Elina enchants me. I am in awe of her spirit and her beauty. I refuse to let any set of expectations, stereotypes, or judgments cloud the truth of who she is, of who I am.

God, Help me to find beauty where I see flaws,

to see grace where I feel judgement

to discover freedom instead of clinging to lies